the calling

it was two in the morning and Alice woke with a jolt. The dream she had was so vivid like it was real. She felt she had better listen to it, but did not want to believe it. She dreamed her world was about to turn upside down. She was the daughter of the French king. Today was the day they were to announce whom she was to marry. It would change her world. She wanted to stay in France with her brother but knew that would never happen.
Her father approached her early in the morning. The family gathered and her brother clutched his chair waiting for his father to say who the husband would be. It was rumored a deal was struck with England, but she did not want to believe it. The king came in ,smug about his decision and sat at the head of the table. "it has been decided then". He told everyone, "Alice, you are to marry the prince of wales, Richard". Charles got up with a jolt. He did not like this match. Richard had abused him as a child and the match meant the person he despised the most would be his brother. Not a happy match at all. "I will not stand for this!" He roared. Alice began to cry. She shared the same feelings as her brother, this was not a happy match. "What is wrong boy?! I am securing your future you should be happy for your sisters match and Alice one day you will be queen of France think of that!" howled the king. "I do not want to marry a tyrant I have heard stories." "forget the stories it will happen. you are to leave at once. They are to educate you in their ways and then in a few years you will marry him" "At once! Why not just banish her?! it would be less painful father." "Charles keep your mouth shut boy this is for the best of the country." "but I do not want to go to England!" cried Alice. "what is done is done you will have to except your fate."
Alice did not want to except her future. She cried every night, even after finding herself in England she cried. Lost in a country she did not know.

the beach

waves hit your feet
ocean breeze goes through your hair like a comb
the sun rises in greeting
the dolphins dance their magical dance
life is good
swim during the day
walk the boardwalk at night
that is life
the people around you are your friends
everyone is here for a good time
love it and enjoy it
while it lasts
the sand goes coats your feet
you walk along the beach
the waves tumble through thumping like drums
the birds sing their song
and the humans dance to their music
life is good at the beach
dance and go with their flow
you will never regret it
you may never feel it
it is a part of your heart
it is a part of you love of life
live and love
dance the dance
be free

Meds

with any disorder
no matter what it is
meds do not always work
no miracle drugs out there
you have to be able to work
you have to find your own cure
you have to follow your own path
for any disorder to find the right cocktail takes years
my case the average is two years
they are there to help
not to be leaned on
if you think that a pill can solve everything you are incompetent
they cant
the person has to be willing to change
the person has to be ready to change
do not use meds as an excuse to blame someone
they can change you
they do not always work
some take months
they are there in the beginning
they are there to help the winnings
they are addictive
they are hard
they can hurt you
they can make you better
you have to be ready for them
they cannot be ready for you
no one can force you
they are only the beginning
not the end of your issues
a pill cannot solve everything

Rebel

Everyone has a definition
they make their own path
they follow no one
they are deviants
Everyone says I am
I am a loner
I am a deviant
I love rules
I dance to my own tune
I love to hear others tune
others say I am a leader
others say I am a rebel
I am who I am
rebels make their own path
rebels do not follow other paths
only their own
if it is blocked they make it
if there is a challenge they face it
they have their own style
they have their own loves
they cannot be controlled
only if they are willing can it happen
the definition changes
from person to person
think what you want
I am who I am