Communication

I find it interesting that it seems everyone communicates differently. For example one person I know prefers to communicate by doing things. Frankly I prefer communicating by telling someone and being blunt. I think it works a little better and gets my point accross very efficiently. It is interesting though the things that influence how we communicate. For example you family, your personality, and even your enviroment can influence you immensely without you even realizing it. in psychology also every branch has some way to describe the way you communicate and do the things you do and thus create so many hypothesis that it is very mundane. This is where we have to judge for ourselves what really does make a person the way they are. this is kindof what makes life interesting because everyone communicates so differently. Thus with friends things can get very interesting. For example I just got over a big misunderstanding with a friend because we communicate very differently. I am very vocal and love words. She uses actions that can be very subtle. Also some times she has a hard time approaching people about things and thus it creates misunderstandings that result in anger. i can tell you now these are not fun but then after a few days we realized how stupid we both were being and apologized. I believe the big influence for both of us though is our personalities. she is an introvert and I am not. the thing is though we compliment each other so things work very, very well. Thus it proves that we are learning how to communicate with eachother over time and it is great. According to enviromental psychology they would say it is because we live with eachother and thus the enviroment we are in is affecting how we communicate. I just somply think it is great and I love the fact everyone communicates a little differently because it means we can learn from eachother just like in every situation we can learn. This is simply just one way that we do learn from eachother.

Family history

OK so this is something I am working on. In the LDS world this is really big. I mean big I have a calling in my church for this simply for indexing names into a file base. Basically what I do is I translate cursive and these really old records so the average person can read them anywhere anytime. This makes it easier for us to do our family history. For me this is important concluding my last name is adopted because my great grandfather was adopted. He did not know until his eighties and thus family history has a place in my heart. I believe it is important to know where you come from because those people are a part of you. They make up your genetic code. Also it is actually fun like I found out I am related to the guy who invented the toilet. He made it as a joke. I am also related to Mary Boleyn and my family is old royalty, but we ave lost our titles over the generations. I love knowing where my family has come from and the adventures they have had. It makes my family mine and to me that is important. also in my religion we believe you can be sealed to your family forever. Thus I may know these people in the next life and I think that is pretty cool.

Slack lining

Today for the first time in my life I went slack lining. For those whom have never heard of this it is where you walk on a long rope in the middle of the air. Another name for it is a tightrope. You can see it at the circus and it is amazingly fun. In order to do this you need balance and you need to concentrate as well as have the confidence that you can do it. For those who know me you know very well I am a klutz and I have had more broken bones and stitches than most people. I found it interesting for beginners you need to hold on to someone. Imagine you have to trust someone you may not know very well with your whole entire body weight. You have to be able to trust that they will not move and they will be there for you. Also in order to put a slack line up you have to have a bunch of people pull it tight. It takes real teamwork. It is not easy by any means and until tonight I had no idea what it took. I am in awe how much it takes to just simply walk a line. If you think about it you can relate this to life. In life we need people as much as we need someone to help put up a slack line. In life we also need to trust in order to make it to the end. Even if you do not need help in the end you need help in the beginning to accomplish the goal. Think about it. You may not even remember, but just about every job and everything you do someone helped you learn it now didn't they? Except for your basic reflexes just about everything you do was learned and thus you had to trust someone to do it. In life we all fall down and most of us have had someone to help pick us up at some point. It is interesting with slack lining you have to build confidence and balance in order to get better and in life confidence is important to get by and get that big promotion and what not. Thus if you think about it you can learn a lot from slack lining. I never thought about any of this until I did it myself and now I totally know what I am going to be doing on my Saturday nights when I do not have concrete plans.

Memories :-)

Lately I have been remembering all the fun times I have had with the people in my life. For example I think my favorite memory with my roommates from last winter was when we all slept in the same room after one of us had watched a scary movie. She told her room roommate about it so they got scared. It then spread to our other roommate so we took the cushions from the couch and slept on them. I was the watchdog and made sure it was safe by watching the front door from the safety of the bedroom. We shared a lot of laughter and joy that night. That is why that is my favorite memory with them. For my best friend and the one I call my adopted sister, Leslie it would be that time I made us go down to the creek and first I tested the fallen tree we were using to cross it and then told her it was safe. I then climbed the small cliff and held my hand out for her so she could climb up. She did not take it. She was too scared so I climbed back down and fell in the creek.
The more I think about it these memories say a bit of about our personalities. I always have been protective of my sister and am always the first one to make the big steps in things. I test the waters make sure it is safe and then she follows, but there are times in life when I have held my hand out to have her take a leap of faith and she does not do it. She is very cautious and if something looks dangerous you can count her out. She prefers to play it safe and likes her comfort. With my roommates it came out that we were there for each other. It is interesting how when we look back on memories our personalities come out by how we react. We do not even realize it, but we all react to situations differently. I tend to usually take a protective stance when it comes to my loved ones and will back down to them when it is necessary. I never want to hurt them. When I look back at things I always remember the good times and it makes me happy to know they are there.

Service/ peanut butter cup recipe :-)

It is funny in my life there is always one thing that no matter what will bring me joy. That is service. I love to serve others and to help. It is interesting that by doing this I have found I find a little bit more about myself and I feel more connected to the world. It brings me joy to put smiles on others faces and it makes me appreciate what I have and helps me to realize what I can offer. I never get tired of serving others. Even yesterday it was valentines day and I went and made peanut butter cups and left them on people's doors. I only had one yet I had doubled the batch. I had simply given them all away and I feel happy by doing this and leaving homemade cards with them. Sometimes I wonder because I love to do this so much why it is so hard for others? I understand in a way though because everyone is different. If I was to judge on that then someone else could simply ask me why I am not going on a mission for my church, thus I have no right to judge. The thing is in my mind I think the world would be a better place if we all helped one another and shared our love, if we have any with each other.

Peanut butter cups makes about 24
outside part:
one 12 oz bag of chocolate chips
4 tbs of peanut butter
a pinch of salt
Mix together in a microwave safe bowl and microwave for two minutes stirring after one minute for even heating
Take 24 mini cupcake tins and put about one to two spoons of chocolate inside. You can line the sides if desired for more even chocolaty goodness. Put in the fridge for 20 minutes
Filling:
one and a half cups of peanut butter
2/3 cup of brown sugar
mix together and add more or less of either ingredients until you get the desired texture and taste.
take the chocolate filling out of the fridge and put about one spoonful of peanut butter filling in the middle. Press it down and then stick back in the fridge for another twenty minutes.
Take the cups out of the fridge again and cover the rest of the cups with the remaining chocolate until you can no longer see the filling or until you fill to the top of the foil. Chill for another thirty minutes.
ENJOY!! After eating these you will never look at a peanut butter cup from the store again. Also this recipe is vegan and is actually healthier for you than what you get in the store. I use natural peanut butter when I make these. :-)

Negativity

OK so this is something I know I am personally accountable for, but I am working on. Talking negative. Have you noticed how what you say sometimes can simply bring someone down? Well, I have and I hate it. I hate that feeling and yet we all seem to do it. The thing is when you do this it may make yourself feel better when you are talking about them and lift you up, but then you may see that person later and go "oh no! Not them! Why them?" You do not even realize it but you lose some respect for that person. The people you say that too also can lose respect for you. I know I have lost respect for people because of this and there are some people I simply do not like to be around because they bring me down. It does not even have to be talking bad about someone, but it can be simply complaining about something frivolous like someone made your sandwich wrong in the cafeteria. Or even that good old saying of "UGH! I have soo much homework! Why me? I hate that professor!" Ok if he tells you to write a fifty page essay on the weekend and it is due on Monday with no warning I say yeah I totally agree, but if he gives you a few weeks then seriously I can think of worse things. After we say something like this though what does that accomplish? I mean really what does it accomplish? Granted you feel good in that moment of release, but it is only momentarily. That statement will not get your homework done now will it? Then after saying things like this have you noticed it kind of leads to bigger things? It usually does and then it sucks. Also have you noticed there comes a point where you start ignoring the complainer and then you eventually stop hanging around them? I have and then you kind of lose a good friend. Seriously it is not worth it. I would rather keep my friends and talk positive than lose everyone and talk negative. By the way when you talk negative you also change your thinking to negative.

Love

I think as we get close to valentines day we get so caught up in things that we forget what it truly means to love. To start off with there are three types of love. Empty love (commitment only), infatuation (passion or platonic), and liking(intimacy). When you are in a relationship with someone you go through all three of these or at least two and then combined at some point you hope to get to consummate love. Sometimes this does not happen, but it is hoped and desired for. In a relationship though if at least two of these do not develop then the chances of your relationship making it decline. These three also include every type of relationship we have for someone not just romantic which is passion mixed with intimacy. Friendship is simply liking or intimacy and companionate (or a companion for lack of better words)love is intimacy with empty love. Thus if someone says something about a companion for me up here it could mean a friend like one of my roommates or someone that I am close to and simply lack any passion or infaturation. You see now for marriage which seems to be the golden one up here you need all three types of love or consummate love. Also with love, true love sometimes you can find that at one point you are more on the verge of one type of love than the others. For example when you first get married most newly weds tend to be a bit on the hot blooded passionate side. Older couples are more on the companionate side. All together these loves actually form the love triangle which is why sometimes it may seem that even with friends of the opposite sex we can get crushes on them. It is only natural after all it is simply a form of love. Now then that I have explained what love is and the types of love I can go into the things that tend to come out around valentines day. We seem to forget with this holiday that it is about love, not flowers and chocolates. Those are awesome, I know I always love to see flowers on my doorstep, but we get so caught up with everything. I have heard girls complain about what their boyfriend's did not do for them. They should think of what they did because everyone also expresses love differently so what may seem like a gesture to one person may seem like an insult to another. Thus sometimes as much as the brainwashing of the media may do we need to remember what is really important on this holiday. It is the love that counts even if the gesture may be a bit awkward or something be glad it happened and smile.

First impressions

Ok so I cannot sleep until I write this down. Today I kept coming across a topic that sadly we do quite quickly. In a mere matter of seconds in fact. Our first impressions of someone. Within one second this is made for the good or the bad. We do not even know we are doing it and the effects can be detrimental. For example my first impression of this one person was that they were an arrogant jerk. I take back that statement and have found I misunderstood. Sadly I know my first impression will never go away it will always be there, but I can ensure my future impressions of this person are good. Besides I know people's first impressions of me are not always good. I can come off as mean, arrogant, and very, very insecure. Even reading my older blog posts some may think that of me concluding I started this to deal with a bad situation. I have dealt with it and also I have found that when I go home I tend to get depressed. Thus what I write is affected and thus my first impression installed may come off quite bad. I find it ironic because these are all things I try to avoid doing, yet I come off that way. On the flip side I have come off as extremely intelligent, sweet, and have enough love to fill the world over and over again. Ironically I wish I could say that I am always that way, but I know I have my bad points like everyone else and there are different types of intelligences. I think it is suffice to say by the impressions left by anyone that we can judge a little off kilter. Sadly though as it is it still is human nature to do this and that will never change. I know I am trying really hard not to follow my own first impressions of people, but I do not know if I can say the same for others. After all on deeper thought I would not be friends with my best friend up here concluding my first impression of her was a stiffo who will tell on me for every little thing that I do and has to have everything perfect. For the record that "stiffo" enjoyed waking me up with a whooppie cushion every morning my first semester and makes me look like a clean freak. Funny enough I came off quite badly to her. Yet she is one of my closest confidantes even though I still just wish she would stop hacking my facebook and I am glad this blog is safe so far.

The crossroads

It seems in any place there is that one hangout where everyone seems to go and mingle. I remember in high school we would all go to this shopping center and hang out there. In large communities it seems to be places like the mall or parks. At BYUI it is the crossroads. Hence if you wanna see someone just stick around there long enough. Chances are you will run into them and then you can say what you want to say. For those whom are unfamiliar with what I am talking about the crossroads is basically the school cafeteria, except a lot bigger and is great to cut through on your way across campus. It is interesting though because like any environment everyone has their spots and this is ours. Frankly I love it because I seem to get more homework done when I am surrounded by people since I am an extrovert. When I am by myself I tend to find myself wandering onto facebook and listening to music, or blogging. Right now however I am simply in the library with a couple of friends and no homework. Free time? I think yes! Anyways it is interesting in society how we all tend to mingle towards certain areas. It seems every group has them. I remember when I was in high school they let us sit in whichever place we wanted for lunch. Everyone had lunch at the same time and thus we were not limited to the cafeteria. Thus I found the bulk of my friends sat by the auditorium which was coined the artistic area. I tended to move around and did not have one area, but most people did. I find it interesting how we do not even realize we do this but we just do it instinctively. I know I just simply love to go to the crossroads and I love the large open space and seeing my friends. I wonder though why everyone else goes. We all have our reasons.

Roommates

I have to say this semester I have been very lucky. with roommates it is like playing Russian roulette. You never know what you are going to get. For example last semester I got a roommate whom seemed to over proportion everything and made me feel like I was a little ant under a magnifying glass. We were just too different and we could not make it work. She is extremely clean and I am allergic to cleaning products. Literally I was hospitalized for blood poisoning, toxic shock syndrome, anaphelectic shock, and medical with drawl because of my allergies to bleach and hair products. I became hypersensitive after this and had to go into rehab all because I worked at a hair salon washing peoples hair. Go figure right? Anyways ma and this roommate could not seem to set aside our differences. I tried getting natural cleaners and she tried to ignore the fact that I do not mind keeping my dorm door unlocked when I am home and climbing through the window when she has locked the door. She also liked drama and I prefer to avoid causing or being in the middle of drama.See the differences coming out? Anyways this semester I am lucky, I won the roommate lottery.I have three amazing and I really mean amazing roommates. First they compliment each other and me every chance they get. Second we love to cook together, talk together, and clean together. We get along superb. Our place is open for whomever wants to stop by and I love it. We seem not to judge. In fact we have a no gossip rule which I love. Heck right now I am drinking cocoa and enjoying the company of one of my roommates. I like being able to talk about anything with them and sharing ideas. I love the fact that we are different, but we will compromise on things and we give each other our space. To me this is an ideal situation when living with three girls from totally different backgrounds. I am the happiest I have been in a long time with my living situation. I have my space and I can let my go with the flow attitude go through. I feel like I am rooming with my best friends. I have even started cooking for them without fear of criticism for my "this plus this equals awesome deliciousness!!" and for me as a cooking minor is important. I love also the fact they will compromise with me on it and I can learn more. I love in general compromising with them and being with them. I am truly blessed this semester.

Snow

I love the snow. It dances around twirling and blowing. I think it is beautiful. I love the fact I am surrounded by it and it seems to never go away. I love the snow and the changes in the weather and I think I would go nuts if the weather never changed. I love the way the snow sits on the temple in its magnificence. It seems to decorate the temple and make it more beautiful which adds a smile to my face every time I start to go up a hill and see it lit up. I love dancing in the snow and singing in the snow. You may think I am crazy but I still love it in all its glory and I do not care. I am not used to this type of weather where it sticks and I am glad I know it.

thankful

Everyday of my life I am thankful for the people in my life. I believe people are naturally good and thus we can always improve. I love how people in this world can do so much good. For example peace corp. They are so awesome they do so much good for the world and one day I want to join them in their fight to help this world. I want to be a part of the solution and I am a part of the solution. I am thankful that I can make a difference in the lives of the people around me. It is interesting you never know how much it really helps until afterward. You think you are doing the most minute thing and then you realize that you may have just saved a life. I love this world and the people in it and am proud I can help.

Rexburg

OK I am not gonna lie. I actually like my small dinky little college town. To most people there is nothing to do concluding if you sneeze while driving you will miss it, but I like the small town. I grew up around DC so to me this is perfect because of the nature. I love looking out and seeing the mountains and watching the sunset. I love the fact on the very top of the hill is a temple that I get to see everyday. I also love being around my friends everyday and sometimes goofing off and making myself look like an absolute fool. I love my small town and everything in it. I love the fact everyone says hi to you and will offer you rides from the grocery store without asking for your number or expecting something in return. This is very different for me concluding DC is the third rudest city in the United States and so I find it refreshing.

siblings

The one thing I find I gravitate to no matter what seems to be are my siblings. They are always there for me even if they do not understand what is going on. I love them so much they are the reason i went into public speaking when I was younger. I guess I had better explain things a bit I am the first of three children to go to college even though I am the youngest. My two siblings dropped out of high school. This was their personal choice and I admire them for marching to their own beat even if it may have seemed wrong in the eyes of someone else. The truth is though they have reading dyslexia thus it is harder for them to learn than most people. They do not think like most the people I have met since they also have learning disabilities and are very artistic. It has made me stronger though watching them struggle because I know I do not have it that bad, not really. It is because of them I push myself to the limits to get an education and be the best person I can be. It was for them I graduated high school and did public speaking to the point I ended up speaking in front of the state senate for my state and the board of education and I have spoken at Johns Hopkins University. I have won awards, but they are not important to me because I know my family is proud of me and I made my point very clear. What all this comes down to is behind every person there is something driving them to do what they do. Mine was and is the love I have for my siblings and my defense of them.
Family is to this day one of the driving forces in peoples lives and it is extremely important. Those people whether you hate them or love them shape you. No one can change that. Sometimes it sucks but that is where you learn from the situation. I love my family as dysfunctional as they may seem to others they are a part of me and that will never change. Sometimes they really do not know what it is I am going through because I did grow up differently from my siblings I had more opportunities. I have been trained and grew up sadly quite differently from them because I always had someone to turn to and I had my church and the people in it to help me and shape me. They had themselves and the situations going on at home that I escaped. Granted I have had my trials. I worked to help support my family and I remember times when we did not know what we would eat for dinner or when our next meal would be. These still happen even when I go home from college, but no matter what I will always help them. After all my only disability is I am deaf due to unknown causes. Yes I grew up in the same household as them with a single parent who has been unemployed since I was twelve and has her own disability. Unlike them though I have always had good friends and public speaking as well as school and church to fall back on and they have not been so lucky. They have had their people and we have each handled our lives differently. Our outlooks on life are different and that will not change anytime soon, but I still love them. I may be changing as I am gone and I could feel the fact I grew apart from them while I was home last time, but that does not change anything I still love them. That is my driving force and it may never change until I have my own children to look after then it may transfer to them, but I will always be there for my siblings. I miss them dearly while I am away at college, but I think about them every day and miss them every day. Family is important and having a good relationship if it is likely is important. They are the people who define who you are and help shape you whether you like it or not. They are the ones who have your back. Granted some have their issues. Some may not be good to be around but this is the case with most families and I find it sad that in this age the family unit seems to not be as important to some people and the family is diminishing.